- "Cell Hell"
- Middle Age the Middleman
- Your Life Sentence
- Having A Child in College
- Finding Your Passion
- Old Friends
- Perfectionism
- Coach Henderson
- Breast Cancer
- Learning to laugh at yourself
- Making time for good friends
- Are you a perfectionist?
Is that a good thing? - Saying goodbye with a mother's special gift
- 'Empty Nest' doesn't have to mean 'emptiness'
- Dealing with frustration
- Getting through major disappointments
“Liz delivers a thought-provoking style and an uncommon respect to her guest and her audience.”
Larry England,
Clarke Broadcasting
Video of LizLines courtesy of:
www.galifeandstyle.com
LizLines on Perfectionism
"Is perfectionism a positive or a negative?" This was my opening question to recent AM Athens guest, Dr. Virginia Harvey, University of Massachusetts Professor of School Psychology and licensed psychotherapist.
"In psychological terms, perfectionism is a negative" was her reply. "In psychological terms, perfectionism is a negative" was her reply.I agree. I know many perfectionists and frankly I think their lives are hindered by this need to achieve perfection. Perfect body. Perfect skin. Perfect family. Perfect life. Guess what? It's impossible to achieve perfection!
So then why do many consider it a positive? When you take into account the time and energy that is wasted trying to reach unattainable goals, and the perpetual cycle of disappointment, anger and frustration as well as the impact on those around you, how could it possibly be a positive?
There are many signs of perfectionism. One of the classic signs is "all or nothing thinking". Do you know what I mean? For example, when asked to serve on a committee, the response is "thanks but I just don't have the time and if I can't give 100% then I don't want to do it at all."
When asked to give money, the response might be "If I can't give the full amount then what's the use in giving any at all? When faced with a purchasing decision, the thought may be "if I can't buy the best then I just won't buy anything." In school, a student may think "If I can't get an A then why even try?" Or a family considering a vacation might think, "If we can't go to Paris then let's just stay home"? And we have all heard "we're not going to have children until the time is right and we can afford them".
What if the right time never comes? What if the opportunity is missed altogether? Life has a way of moving on and when you're constantly looking for that "perfect something" you are robbing yourself and others of what's most important: time, experiences and joy!
If I could delete any word from the English language, it would be the word "perfect". It is too often taken out of context especially in the world of "lookism" where young girls fall prey to the need to look and be perfect. Drawing a perfect circle or getting a perfect score is one thing but seeking to be perfect is entirely another.
As an option, choose to strive for excellence and allow yourself to enjoy life!
Dr. Harvey was a guest on AM Athens October 13, 2005.
WATCH VIDEO: Are you a perfectionist? Is that a good thing?
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