• "Cell Hell"
• Middle Age the Middleman
• Your Life Sentence
• Having A Child in College
• Finding Your Passion
• Old Friends
• Perfectionism
• Coach Henderson
• Breast Cancer

  

• Learning to laugh at yourself
• Making time for good friends
• Are you a perfectionist?
  Is that a good thing?
• Saying goodbye with a mother's special gift
• 'Empty Nest' doesn't have to mean 'emptiness'
• Dealing with frustration
• Getting through major disappointments

Video of LizLines courtesy of:
www.galifeandstyle.com

Middle Age the Middleman

More and more of my friends are playing middleman between two life stages-growing children and aging parents. When I run into someone at the grocery store for instance whom I haven't seen in weeks or even months and ask them "where in the world have you been?", the answer is almost always the same-- "my parents just moved into a smaller place, or a new assisted living facility or have just gotten out of the hospital..."

My observation of them is that they are clearly stressed, especially when their parents are out of town and they have been traveling and moving them and taking care of all the associated responsibilities from afar. Yet, there is another interesting dynamic and that is one of guilt combined with gratefulness: guilt due to being bogged down by having to help their parents yet grateful for the opportunity to help their parents during such an important and difficult life transition.

The apron strings of life are stretching in many directions all at once.The apron strings of life are stretching in many directions all at once. Added to this guilt and gratefulness is also the anxiety and joy of raising children. On the one hand, some 40-somethings who are dealing with aging parents also have the physical demands of young children; on the other hand many are dealing with the emotional demands of teenagers. Striking some semblance of balance between these demands and their own needs seemingly presents yet another challenge.

Fortunately for now, I am not yet part of this so-called "sandwich generation" but my time is clearly coming. I am watching closely and with great admiration those who are. I hope to learn the do's and don'ts and be of assistance to them at times when they need it the most. As with all life stages and most other life issues, there's not a magic pill or a silver bullet, though we spend our lifetime looking for one. Instead, we have to rely on each other, our faith, and plain old life experience.

From my naïve perspective, I offer a few thoughts:

Appreciate these moments with your parents though bittersweet and cherish the new experiences with your growing children. Much like the dread of exercise, you always feel better when you have done something for them which at the time might seem uncomfortable and inconvenient.

Don't be too busy for the moment. There will always be a "to do list" but that special moment of togetherness could be gone tomorrow.

Laugh with them and learn from them. Even in time of crisis and sadness there are laughs to be shared and life lessons to be learned.

Look ahead with anticipation so you won't look behind with regret. Live in the now and be present in the moment. The present is a gift.

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